I am Jane the Woman

I'm scared.

I don't know what to do.

I'm not really angry anymore.

But I'm angry with myself for not being angry anymore.

The thing is,

I just don't want to talk to them.

Not for a very long time.

I don't even want to see them.

To have to act like everything is okay when it really isn't.

At least not for me.

You will never know,

And you obviously don't care.

Funny how that she can't pick up.

Don't push me.

I can fall by myself.

I am Jane's Venom, Men and Expiry Date

Men are utterly disgusting.

Their habits,

Their behaviour.

Utterly disgusting.

I can't decide on whether I'm angry,

or sad.

So I shall just leave it as I am upset.

All the men around me are being assholes.

All of them.

I suspect the cause of it is that piece of meat dangling in between their legs.

And we all know that to solve the problem, we must get rid of the cause.

So I suggest either genocide or castration.

And eternal enslavery.

We don't need them to inseminate us.

We can just genetically modify sperms.

That way we can choose the best genes,

hence eliminating future problems as the possibility of creating an asshole is reduced,

And we will only select sperms with the XX chromosome inside.

Or even better still, genetically modify the XY chromosome into XX.

Men were mere experiments.

Their chromosome is a defect of ours.

Doesn't that explain their stupidity?

So by exterminating all men,

we are achieving Zero Defect philosophy.

Cultivating perfectionists and perfect beings.

I'm so sick of it!

It's not like both of them don't know me.

I feel so hurt.

I really don't know what to do.

And they both know very well how I react to things like this.

Is that what they want?

Maybe it's best I do that.

At least I'd be happy.

I have reached my expiry date.

I am of no use anymore.

They are all assholes.

And I refuse to associate myself with assholes.

I have been downgraded from friend,

to helper,

to just being there,

and then doormat.

But it is true what they say about an angry woman.

There is no nice angry woman in this world.

I don't believe in forgiving or forgetting.

I don't believe that you are perfect.

But I accept you for all your flaws.

Taking me for granted is a whole other story.

Do you expect me to forgive let alone forget that?

Being borned in the year of the snake.

I possess the true characters of one.

The Cobra

Full of venom,

Always alert,

ready to strike,

laying low enough for you to step on,

but close enough to sink my fangs into your skin,

injecting my poisonous venom into your blood stream,

causing imminent DEATH.

You don't mess with a snake.

She'll never forget.

Notice that Medusa is a female,

not a male.

They can't handle such power.

Weaklings.

I feel so fucked up.

And I only have two words to say to them

FUCK YOU!!

And FUCK YOU HARD!

I thought I'd be problem free after my exams.

But time and time again,

I'm reminded that trouble never ceases to follow me.

I am Jane, and I lack discipline

Heck, I just finished my articles.

I am so behind time.

Mum came today.

I am now allowed to go overseas by myself (not that I couldn't have seeing that I have regained possession of my own passport),

I want to go to Hong Kong Disneyland for Christmas.

Anyone wants to come with?

I'm really going offline for the next two weeks plus.

I can't.

I'm horrible.

I know.

Life's not the bitch.

I am!

On another note, I think I am a horrible friend.

A friend who over-analyzes relationships

Who gets jealous easily

and who is over possessive.

And on another random note,

ever wondered why our parents used to whack the shit out of us?

They didn't really have to,

but you know,

things like "If you do that one more time I will cane you!!"

it doesn't really hurt.

not flesh-wise.

maybe it hurt,

but it wasn't some kind of unbearable pain like going to the doctor for a jab!

why the hell were we afraid of them?

and you know,

it's so damaging.

the next time they scream "I'll WHACK you!"

or even just whip the sofa,

you'd go running for your lives.

Urgh!

How we've been mind-slaved.

And then we grow up and learn to be ashamed

and learn about public humiliation

But all it is is "positive comments, feedbacks and criticism",

not reprimands.

We get yelled at, and then we start crying, or our face expression changes, or we get angry.

Why can't we treat it as a normal conversation?

It's not like one has any more right to speak than the other.

This world is so full of shit with its hierarchies and self-confidence levels.

And guess where it all stems from;

That's right.

Our childhood.

Shouldn't there be a new way of parenting already?

I can't remember the name of that famous psychologist who had the same believe,

Unfortunately, his son died..

Which made his theory a mockery.

I don't think so.

I think that's an entirely different story all together.

And then there's this thing about being over weight.

Just today, I was at GJ with my favourite people.

And in comes an old friend who nonchalantly comes up to me and goes

"Hey, how come so fat already? What did you eat?"

Weird question which I didn't know how to answer

(possible answer could have been, I drank a gallon of oil, but I doubt she'd get my sarcasm)

My favourite people SNARED at her!

The thought of such a comment almost made them puke their guts out

Now you know why they're my favourite people =D

Not that I don't need the motivation to NOT be fat..heheh

Last but not least

Before that I must put in a disclaimer right now

MY LIFE DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND ALCOHOL
okay.

My lecturer told us that drinking is the direct route to heaven.

Why?

Because when you drink, you're happy

when you're happy you don't cause harm

and when you don't cause harm you go straight to heaven.

and when you drink too much

you pass out,

when you pass out you can't cause harm

and therefore you go straight to heaven.

simple right?

I feel very deprived now.

If Sasha wants to drink herself silly on new years,

I want to pour alcohol down my throat and then pass out.

I don't even want to get high.

I just want to pass out and be happy in my dreams

At least I'm happy there..

Urgghh...I hate how I jump every time *this (phone beeps) happens!

My very random post..lolz

I am Jane looking for a confession box

Father, Father forgive me for I have sinned.

Bloody satan tempted me and I caved..

Who am I kidding?

I have no discipline what so ever.

So from tomorrow onwards,

The laptop is going into cold storage.

On an entirely different note,

YOU CONFUSE THE HELL OUT OF ME!!

I just don't understand...

I am Jane confused

I just realised Sunil is coming back tomorrow..

I don't feel overly excited

I don't feel anything

Maybe it's because it doesn't seem like he ever left.

I am Jane's sponteinity

I LOVE SHABA SHABA!!
WE spontaneously decided to go on a drive because I am happy and because I don't want to stop being happy. I'm so going to regret this but I think I'm going to need the psychological break.

Love you heaps!

I am Jane in a day

I think, today was the most perfect day in this entire year.

I am one of many temperaments,

most of them from the extreme ends of all aspects.

I like to go out and party,

be surrounded by intoxicated loud people who are grinning like idiots

enveloped by loud music

and letting loose like there's no tomorrow.

But there are days when I don't even feel like stepping out of my bed,

totally zone out,

stare at the ceiling,

outside my window (which is why my bed is strategically positioned beside the window),

stare at my neatly arranged books,

stare at the squirls on my quilt cover.

I like to have company,

have good conversations,

about how blue the sky is,

anatomy,

girl talk,

mindless bullshit,

and the matters of the world,

heck even our topics vary so extremely.

But there are days

when I just want to be left alone,

and may God have mercy on you

if you even try to break into my solitude.

I love movies.

Sometimes when my brain is too tired,

and I don't even want to laugh,

I pick up a chic flick,

and stare at it.

You don't always have to use your brain to be smart.

You don't always have to watch movies that mean something

On other days,

especially when I want to be alone,

I go to the cinema really early

hoping there won't be anyone else

watch something like 2012,

and ponder about life.

(This is the boring part that sounds like every other blog, skip it!)

I think today was awesome.

I went to class,

I got my Progress Test 2 answer script back

(which I thought was forever gone since my lecturer forgot he left it in his car)

Re-read my answers and never thought I could produce such words and thoughts,

Came back,

Went for an awesome swim with an awesome friend in an awesome pool under the awesome sky during an awesome weather,

had a good bath,

realised my hair wasn't spoilt by chlorine,

got dinner,

found my favourite fruit,

had bubble tea,

had dinner in the middle of the field

under the stars

with the breeze in my hair,

had great conversation with two great friends,

came home,

sat in the spot which nobody else was smart enough to put a sofa there,

enjoyed the wind,

sat quietly beside another fantastic friend,

until she made conversation,

had conversation,

realised at the same time that we are both very happy

to know that we have dreams and goals

and that we're half way there

and that no guy can ever take anything we don't want to give from us,

realise that we are stronger than that,

realised that even if at the end of the day we have no man,

we are capable of being happy.

I think I can genuinely say that I am now happily single but not available.

I hope my ex doesn't feel in any way offended.

I just needed to know that I am capable of being that.

To know that I am happy alone to be able to be happy with someone else.

And today, I knew.

How I wish this could be my everyday routine.

I am Woman,

I am Independent

I am Strong,

I am Happy.

W.I.S.H. =)

"My head is in the clouds..."

"...and I like it there..."

I wish I never ever have to come down...

The end of Sunlounger's first disc is fucking-tastic!!

But current music to suit the mood is Chase the Sun...

How wonderful is it that I found the disc with the perfect song to end my perfect day by coincidence?

I love these friends..they're temperamental and there are days I can't stand them,

but so am I,

Me and my mood swings,

quite apparent from my blogs..