I am Jane, exam stress-less!

It bloody feels good to be finally free from the clutches of exams. I don't know how I did, and I don't even want to think about it (trust me, this takes quite a lot of effort). The thing with ACCA is it's so temperamental, just like a bitchy PMS. You really never can be certain of passing. All you can do is sit, and wait, and hope, and pray.. and in the mean time, PARTY!!!

Which, ironically, I haven't gotten around to. I had the chance to go to Mansion yesterday, but totally blew it. Don't ask why. Anyway, will be heading home on Tuesday. Boo!! Mum is stressed out on self-inflicted problems. (I honestly am thankful I didn't inherit half of her double standards and dumbness) Which means that I (the innocent party) am going to be stressed out on mum-inflicted stress. Life just isn't fair, isn't it? Maybe now you get an insight of why I think she's my worst enemy. Thank God I will have a thesis to bail me out, if I decide that enough is enough. All hail the great RAP thesis (no, I'm not doing a thesis on rap music).

By the way, my mum is a real user (again, I thank God I see what she does and vow never to follow her footsteps). This is part of a conversation that took place few days ago:

Mum: Can you come back quickly?
Me : Why?
Mum: Because I want to try to bake cookies.
(Awkward silence.. contemplating or not whether to verbally express my thoughts)
Me : By YOU trying to bake cookies you mean I bake cookies.
Mum: Whatever lah! I can't find chocolate chip cookies like they used to make them.
Me : Wahlau!!! You pay people to bake cookies, but I don't get anything?
Mum: I buy the ingredients what!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not asking her for anything, I'm just pissed at the fact that she uses me whenever she wants to because I'm HER daughter (as if that gives her the right to brand her name on my forehead), and the other times when I ask for something, (even something measly), there'd be a whole commotion about how I just take without giving, and how I just keep taking and taking, and how my brother is perfectly contented with whatever he has. Well, for starters, he doesn't have to ask for anything because not only does he have ample supplies of whatever, he has EXCESSIVE supplies of everything! And so, I make my own money. And when she found out, she was more than happy to cut me off even more. Her favourite line now is "You have a lot of money what!". -.- Why don't I just emancipate myself, then? I have enough money to support me, my education is paid for. I don't need you. Plus, you don't provide emotional support. So, yes, I don't need you. Thank you for giving birth to me.

I'm not pissed off because she's giving me less and less money (as long as she gives me the agreed fixed amount, I'm fine. I'll make whatever excess I need). I'm just pissed off at how she is using me, and conveniently fitting me according to her convenience and no one else's, and her dumb right bloody smack-in-the face STUPIDITY! I've never called my mother stupid, because she has always somehow or rather come up with a thousand excuses on why she does what she does. They are a thousand of STUPID excuses, but by the time you've heard all of them, you'd be so confused you'd have forgotten they were stupid in the first place. Nonetheless, I guess old age is catching up with her. And she's slowly unable to cover her tracks as perfectly as she could.

WOMAN!!! I can't understand you for shits. I don't want to, and I won't even bother. What the hype is is if she can do this to me NOW, imagine what she will do to me in the future. God help me, I don't want to be stuck with her. Not because I don't care. Not because I'm not grateful, but because it will cause me such great mental torture that I will go insane before she goes senile.

Fuck you if you think I'm an ungrateful daughter. You don't know what mental torture is. Perpetual mental torture on a constant and consistent basis leads to a sure case of suicide, or lunacy. Whichever comes first. I rather die than become a lunatic forever haunted by her voice.

And thus, for the sake of my own sanity, for the sake of man kind, it is best that my brother gives back what he has EXCESSIVELY taken (by the way, she doesn't think it is excessive because he never asks for more, how ironic!).

And yes, I hate how her stupidity always ruins my plans and everything. And how because of her stupidity, I can't even carry out my own plans on my own, because I'm related to her, and it will cause other peopl to doubt her. Why oh why oh why, will you NOT be frustrated if you were me? Being understandable is one thing, being inconsiderate is another thing, being bloody selfish is another class of its own, and being bloody frustrated and not being to be wind down, well, that's the cherry on the whole freaking layer cake!

Oh, BOY! I can't WAIT to get home. tsk!


disclaimer: I am currently of an unsound mind due to the recently unresolved exam tension. I tend to think 'out of the box' about practically everything. Long story short, I tend to go out of topic, or misunderstand other people, and thus, sound like I'm talking in a world of my own. Apparently, the beau, Sunil and Auntie have come up with this theory that the more I study, the less social skills I will have. What do you expect? I've been cooped up in the house for over a month, with limited human contact! Any NORMAL person would have gone insane by now.

p/s: I tried out my own version of a mango cheesecake, and bloody hell, I never knew I could cook!

p/p/s: Since when did having fun feel so sinful? Why do I let her get to me? SIGH!!!

Nonetheless, I will have as much fun before I go home and am subjected to torture.