I am Jane, reaching bottleneck point

In actual fact, I am the cause of this bottleneck situation. Sorry for the whole accounting jargon, but in layman terms, a bottleneck situation, is when limited capacity reduces the capacity of the whole chain (Yes, I am a Management and Cost Accounting freak, and yes, I know most people hate that subject). Well, you can also think of it in terms of physics, using that experiment where they put water through a that has a wide opening, a very narrow middle, and a medium-sized end. (I still love Physics even though I'm not studying it anymore).

It's not really my fault. You can't expect me to run a one-(wo)man show and expect me to produce the same results. Gosh, I feel as if I'm leading more than a double life here. So many things to do, so much expectations, so much objectives, so much goals, so much targets, so many people to please! I can't help to add that my mum has been working me non-stop the minute I reached home, moving the furniture (her annual fengshui must), baking cookies (she actually bought everything, but waited for me to come home so that I'd bake the cookies, I must tell you that she SPOILT the whole batch!!), cheesecakeS (notice how I highlighted the S), point here, point there, at the end of the day, I'm so tired, I just fall asleep the minute my BUTT hits the bed (I don't know how my head falls on the pillow or the quilt magically covers me). No time for OBU, no time for work.

Did I mention there's a test coming on? Same ol' same ol' "If-you-don't-get-above-30-marks-not-only-will-I-bar-you-this-time,-I'll-even-disown-you" threat from Mr Teo. Let's see if he means it this time. I have my way of worming my way through.

You know, I feel like a H.E.B. (highly efficient being) actually. Despite all the stress, I still carry on like an energizer bunny. Well, I don't know how long the adrenaline is going to last, but let's make full use of it while it's here to stay.

Things that I still need to do, in order of priority:

1. Have a good night of proper sleep
2. Do another 20 articles, perhaps?
3. Plan out Sunil's birthday (shit..it was a surprise)
4. Finish my OBU
5. Meet up with Mabel and Meiyuin
6. Get a new phone
7. STUDY (Please don't ask me why this is not top priority)
8. Clear out my closet
9. See the doctor
10. Find some place in Timbuktu where no one can find me so I can rest peacefully

How can I finish everything without anything else coming in? If the input stopped, I'm sure that I would have everything sorted out by now.

On another note, I've made a new (C)NY resolution. I shall stop binging whenever I feel stressed out. Totally challenging at this point since I'm constantly stressed. People screaming, work piling, lack of sleep, exhaustion. Damn it! Well, those who attempt the difficult always achieve the impossible.

I finally found the perfect perspective to do my research. It's so so perfect judging from how unscrupulous the business world is today. Oh, I'm so in love with myself right now. I think I need to be rewarded. Haha. Although, it has made me VERY VERY ashamed to be categorized Chinese. I know the Chinese are almost always the masterminds behind all these unscrupulous ways (trust a Chinese to look for alternative meat in a place where Chicken and other poultry are scarce). I hate it when people categorize me under a race. Sometimes I just feel like leaving that space blank whenever I fill up a form. Just today, Sunil's friend (who has never met me and seen how Chinese my features are) called up and asked me at least three times if I was Chinese. How do you talk to a person, and not sound like any race? And no, your fake "ang moh" accent (no matter how fake), is still "ang moh"-ly Caucasian and that is still a freaking RACE. Maybe I should start speaking like Stephen King. I sure hope that Machine is not a RACE.

By the way, I'm so in love with hobo bags and mary-janes. I saw one in Nike, but it had polka dots on it. (Yes people, its POLKA dots, not pokie dots [<--Peter insists its pokie dots], okay??!!) I also saw a pair in Skechers in beige and white. Loves.. Oh, yes, white is the new black now. Well, I still love black clothes, but I'm buying a lot of white recently as well. But Skechers being Skechers, the shoe cost RM289!! And here is when Internet shopping comes in handy (although it becomes a real huge distraction most of the time). Seeing that I don't really have the time to go shopping physically (because all I want to do after coming back from Menon's class is sleep), this whole online shopping is a real life saver. I still get to see pretty things, although i don't really get to touch or try them. Best of all, I get them at cheaper prices! Believe it or not, the same pair of shoes are selling on Amazon for USD 9.98!! You do the math.

Good night, I'm going to continue love-hating myself. I sweared that I'd finish the articles by tonight. I have 8 more to go, and 10 more to ammend. Oh, how I hate double work. When all this is over, I better have a bottle of Kahlua waiting to calm me down.

I am Jane all over the place

Sorry dear blog for neglecting you, I have been so freaking busy that I haven't even had time to sit down to absorb everything in. I guess that's what the beginning of the year does to everyone. I feel another strand of white hair coming on.. :s Everything has been moving at such a fast pace and I've been so busy running after it that I've lost my sense of judgement of what is really important.

I made a new resolution today. This year, I shall stop whining and revert to my old self. So this blog shall not be 95% about my mum anymore.

At the end of last year, I had it all planned out, my subjects, my timetable, my OBU project, my time allocation for friends (and family), and of course, myself. I got so comfortable planning that I forgot about the external factors. And true to Auntie's nickname for me, Calamity Jane will always be faced with disasters. Even before the first day of class, everything obviously wasn't going to go according to plan, classes clashing, missing data, MISSING AMOUNTS OF MONEY FROM MY STUDENT ACCOUNT FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, and people who pissed me off by giving me more trouble. On top of all that, I still managed to solve other people's problems as well (and maybe because of that now the beau thinks that I'm super woman or something).

I knew from the start it would be hard, I knew that everyone will advise me against it, and I knew that I'd be all alone, but that didn't matter because I had my personal goals and objectives that I INTEND (and very stubbornly still intend to) achieve, by hook or by crook! What I'm sore about is that it's as if everyone (and everything) is going all out just to prove their point that I SHOULDN'T do it. And being stubborn Jane, I WILL do it, and I WILL prove them all wrong. These problems are popping up like wild mushrooms after a rainy day! Whenever I'm closed to solving one, something else pops up. And I have no idea where this energy and patience to deal with all this is coming from. I really have no clue. I don't even know how to solve the problem at its roots when I don't know what the root is!

Damn, I forgot I said I'm not going to whine this year. Anyway, I really hope that the madness will stop soon. I want to settle down, and carry on with my 'fool-proof' plan. I had it all figured out. Simple! Finish the OBU by Chinese New Year so that I can focus on my other three VERY HEAVY subjects. But no, Sunway has managed to slot in more classes for us! English class"Me no quarifying writing the Engrish, veli soli", computer classes for power point presentation (I thought we were the "Internet" generation?) and God knows what else they will come up with later. Just so fed up!

But life goes on, if there's one thing I've learnt is that the time I use complaining can be used to solve the problem. I used to scream at everything that comes in my way (I still do, just more randomly), but now, I just kick its ass. A fellow classmate of mine (we sit in the same class, but we don't know each other) apparently wrote some stuff about Sunway and got caught. I have no idea when complaining about something you pay for was a crime, but it apparently is. And I have no idea why people talk the talk but not walk the walk (me included).

I think I chose the most perfect topic for myself for OBU. Corporate Social Responsibility, lots of writing, lots of researching, lots of reading up to do, and did I mention lots of WRITING? I think I'm sick in the head, I had no idea I was so obsessed with writing until now. I honestly tell you that doing thesis papers are FUN! I don't understand why anybody said it is horrible.

Last but not least, I am still contemplating on a very risky decision that has to be made as soon as possible. It is clear that one of the lectures I'm attending is not doing me any good, and I have absolutely no idea why I'm still sitting there. It's time to move. Besides, risk has been nothing but a very good friend of mine who has rewarded me handsomely.

Mr. Marcus, I have no idea how you came across my blog, but thanks a lot for dropping by. Also, thanks for taking time off to help me clarify some issues. I'd be most oblige to share with you my 'opinions' as to why the students are behaving so, as you have been nothing but a very valued lecturer to us. You make difficult things so easy to understand! And I daresay I am not speaking for myself because I know a lot of people who think the same as well.

It's the whole rinse and repeat cycle again tomorrow, let's hope it stays that way. And this is coming from Jane who HATES routine.

Good night, it's menon early tomorrow morning.

And Chinese New Year shall finally come to good use this year for me to sort everything out, hopefully once and for all. And if anything comes in my way again, get your ass ready to be kicked! I still hate Chinese New Year =.=

Happy Belated Anniversary, beau!

I am Jane's 2009 irony

My first resolution for this year, is to stop procrastinating.
And on that note, I bid you good night for it has been a freaking long day for me, trying to sort everything out and putting back pieces, and because of which I am too tired to even start working.

And so, my first procrastination for this year, is to procrastinate on my new year resolutions.

Sorry for the late wishes, but merry Christmas, and happy new year.

By the way, I vote Christmas 2008 best Christmas ever. It has something to do with good company, friends, and 75.5% alcohol which gave everyone even more good company.

Good night.