i remember once fighting with my mum because she (once again,) went through my drawers, snitching around, trying to find evidence of my wrong-doings while i was in tuition...and obviously, there were a number of things that she found...i guess being sentimental DOES make me more vulnerable to getting caught red-handed...(think cards and notes from then-boyfriends)...oh, i forgot to mention...like all parents, mine STRICTLY PROHIBIT ANY KIND OF DATING (like i bothered...DUH!)...when she picked me up from tuition (that's the time my mum usually chooses to 'talk' because she gets to lock all the car doors and when the car is moving i can't really get out), we had 'THE TALK'...and obviously, i didn't enjoy it and felt reeeeaaaalllly uneasy...so we started yelling at each other about snitching around other people's stuff and what-not...the conversation was pretty much like this:
Mum: Why on earth do you have a boyfriend? You don't need a boyfriend at this age.
Me : So why is it okay with you when my cousins have boyfriends but not me?
Mum: (famous sentence) That's other people's family business..you are MY daughter therefore you obey MY rule and i DON'T allow dating at this age.
Me : So that means that i don't have to bother when OTHER PEOPLE'S daughters do better than me right?
Mum: Do you think you're very smart, talking back at me?
Me : Isn't it true? if i pass, you ask why didn't i score, if i score, you ask me why i didn't get full marks...you're never satisfied!even if i got 101%, you wouldn't be satisfied..
Mum: well if you can bring back a 101% then go ahead...
Me : I will...and please don't go through my cupboard as if i hid gold inside...
Mum: You don't tell me anything, so that's the only way i find out things
Me : well you can't exactly blame me for not telling you anything since your reaction is like that...
Mum: well you're living under my roof, so you have to listen to me...
Me : Legal wise, i'm living under dad's roof...
Mum: don't be smart...what's dad's is mine and the whole family's...
Me : So you're saying i live under MY roof?
Mum: KEEP QUIET!!!! what have you got to hide anyway?
Me : Have you ever heard of such a thing as privacy?
Mum: (her prize-winning statement i'll remember for life) YOU HAVE NO PRIVACY UNTIL YOU'RE 18!!!
and i just know it, when i'm 18, she'll tell me i have no privacy until i'm 21...she's done it before, she'll do it again...
anyway, that's not really the reason why i'm blogging...i can go on and on about my parents..not that i'm not grateful for what they've done for me....but sometimes (very often), i just can't stand them...they're always on my back...and yes....THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ME...
the mistake in the sentence i posted last week is this:
"I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND MY CHILD BECAUSE HE/SHE NEVER LISTENS TO ME"
it was a very general statement...and most of us asian kids have heard it at least at some point of our lives...i wasn't referring to myself...
THE ANSWER: WHAT DOES GETTING SOMEONE TO LISTEN TO YOU HAVE TO DO WITH UNDERSTANDING THE PERSON??? if you want to understand a person, shouldn't YOU be doing the listening and the PERSON doing the TALKING??? typical isn't it???when we say a word, our parents will ask us to shut up....only to complain later on about us not answering them...but when we DO answer them...they say we're rude...i've tried it before...
Mum: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA(usual nagging)
Me : But, MA....
Mum: KEEP QUIET WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU...LISTEN...YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA YADA
Me : (silent)
Mum: ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME OR NOT???WHY ARE YOU NOT RESPONDING?
Me : but you asked me to keep quiet...
Mum: DON'T TRY TO BE SMART...YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK TO SHOW YOU'RE LISTENING...NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG NAG
Me : (nods) (pretending to listen with a serious face)
Mum: WHAT'S WITH THE FACE???ARE YOU SULKING BECAUSE I'M SCOLDING YOU?DON'T BE SUCH A BRAT... QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK
Me : (SMILES)
Mum: WHAT'S THERE TO SMILE ABOUT?SO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY IS IT??? YACK YACK YACK
Me : (SURRENDER)
so there, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY you can please my mum....
so parents...if you want to understand your kid...try this thing called listening...we understand you perfectly well because most of the time we're the ones doing the listening...
i'm just frustrated...i'm an part1 ACCA student..a VERY FRUSTRATED ACCA student...how am i going to survive the next 2 years???
Things i'm whining about right now:
1. i can't even study in my own room!!!my roommate is a light sleeper...even the sound of a pin dropping wakes her up...when i study in the room with the table light on, i can hear and see her constantly tossing and turning, indicating difficulty sleeping...and my friend can't study in her room because her roommate is too noisy and the room smells of cigarettes...SHISH!!!so the both of us are kicked downstairs to the study room...
2. we thought we'd be able to study in the study room, but NOOOOO....some very inconciderate uncivilized people HAVE to talk as if one is in Kalimantan, another in Jawa, and the other in Sumatera...geezzzz...be a little bit more considerate!!i'm not being racist...i'm just annoyed with them...
3. the internet connection SUCKS!!!!!!firstly, it's very S.L.O.W. secondly, my pc always gets quarantined for NO APPARENT REASON...thirdly, the connection sucks...when the internet guys come, the internet behaves itself but once they leave, it starts showing attitude...it's pathetic!!!we all have to wait up to 2-3 am to use the internet when everyone's asleep
4. the condo management SUCKS....they're nice to you when your parents are around...but they're damn mean after that...when i moved in, i told them SPECIFICALLY that i was expecting a friend in march...but NOOOOO...they HAD to give me a roommate who is like...a century older than me...seriously...nevermind that, when my friend and i REQUESTED for a room transfer, they REFUSED...and then we (the obviously-too-smart-to-take-their-crap people) went a-looking for mr marketing executive who enrolled us...after all he TALKED us into signing up he'd better live up to his word of good follow-through services..so we got him to talk to ms two-face in the office and she (without any hesitation) said that we should have came to her straight instead of pulling mr marketing executive all the way just to get a room transfer...ms sarcastic (me) told her straight away that we DID come to you but you refused....so ms two-faced answered (as if she was saying 'you think you soooo smart') "so you brought mr marketing executive here to act as your shield?" and ms sarcastic replied "well, since we can't get it done ourselves, so i guess that's what he's here for" and then fake laughter from both parties ended the conversation...
5. i feel my consumer rights being violated...the taxis here don't go by their meters, they charge us as if our parents own the mint!and also...my parents pay these condo people rm550 per month and this is the service we get???shish!!!!
6. i'm very very VERY angry at my previous chief tenant who cheated me of rm 200...or more...i feel like calling the police and making a report...oh boy will they get into hot soup...not only because of the money...but for the possession of dried grass...get my drift???
7. i'm still very confused about why i'm doing ACCA....i know for a fact that i'm doing it because my parents want me to do accounting..but is accounting really my cup of tea??why do i find it such a dread to study??why can't i study???i was planning to study BUT i got frustrated...i wish i knew why i don't blend in with my classmates...is it just me??or is it really them??or am i just being over-sensitive?why do i dread waking up everyday??even if i do wake up early and fresh, why do i dread going to class?i wish i was doing something i'd wake up enthusiastically to...not having to force myself...i'm soooo lost...
8. them mosquitoes are biting me even through my slacks...stupid mosquitoes...no...that's not the point...i failed 2 out of 3 papers in the last exam...irony of the whole thing..i actually got full marks for the question i had no idea how to do...and the question i was damn good at, i made careless mistakes...shisshhh....the next exam is next week....i can't study...and i'm wondering if i'm going to make it through the whole course...so much for high hopes and dreams...i do have dreams...but i don't have goals..at least not prominent ones...help me!i'm sinking...
9. i feel as if i'm losing my friends one by one...even the ones who were once sooo closed to me...some of which i've lost because they currently have their other halves...whom they revolve their whole world around
10. i wish i was born with a silver spoon in my hand...don't we all??then i wouldn't have to worry so much about losing my scholarship...about asking for money, about feeling bad for asking for money...about being able to actually live comfortably (i guess i have to blame my high standard definition of 'comfortable')...i wish i had a single room...i don't understand why my mum insists i have a roommate...i need my space...the first day my roommate moved in....i felt sooo...violated...it was as though someone had intruded into my territory...violated my privacy...
i told you it was full of whines....there....i just had to let it out...
p/s: i think i have developed an obsessive compulsive disorder...i cannot stand if i have dirty laundry not done, floor full of hair, plates not washed....what else??cleaner ladies coming in, making the place even dirtier, walking in and out, finally leaving, house even dirtier than before she came in...I CANNOT STAND THIS ANYMORE!!!!!i give up...i'll study another day...i need to escape into my own world...
i don't know why....i keep sleeping these days...night and day...i think i can make a world record...
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