I wake up,
knowing there is no message from you,
knowing that you haven't called,
knowing that I wasn't the first thing you thought about when you first woke up.
I try to drag waking up.
Because then I'd have less of the day to witness,
to sit and wait around.
I know I'm being childish.
But why shouldn't I?
I don't understand why I should be mature everytime.
Thinking about the positive instead of the negative.
Yeah, I want to drown in sorrow.
Well I'm just being realistic.
I want to face the problem.
I don't want to push it away,
put on a smile,
and pretend that everything's alright when it isn't.
I am addressing the problem.
I don't think I'm that bad a judge of character.
I met Jums a year ago.
I knew I wanted to know him better because I knew there was more to him.
And guess what?
I was right.
As fate would have had it,
we met again this year.
There was way more to him than I thought there was.
As for you.
I don't know.
Right now, every single song I listen to reminds me of you.
You and your promises.
This one,
I guess we were both playing with fire.
"I tried to believe every word of your sweet story,
but intuition keeps telling me
you're making a fool outta me"
Maybe this would have been more appropriate when we started fighting,
when you started drifting away.
You really thought that I wouldn't notice?
"Nothing, nothing, nothing means more than the truth
And the truth is that I realize love is fading from your eyes
Don't know how it came to this but we gonna get it fixed tonight
Coz nothing, nothing, nothing is worth losing you"
I don't know if I still feel that way,
but when I first read the lyrics,
it hit me bad.
Because we promised we'd tell each other the truth.
You and I, we both were tired and sick of the lies involved in a relationship.
Our relationship might not have been a healthy one,
but it was a very convenient one.
It worked there and then.
Maybe it wouldn't work next year.
But I don't understand why you got so afraid.
This is for now.
Your lies are really haunting me,
I know your eyes will give me answers to the why.
I don't know.
I don't believe any of your stories now.
Maybe by doing so,
I'll get even more hurt in the end,
if I find out that you have been telling me the truth all the time.
But right now,
I don't know.
Maybe we will have another shot.
But we both know that we never were for second shots.
Let's see how it goes.
I'm not giving you anymore of my ego.
You have had enough.
It's your turn now.
And oh, boy.
I know how to make you beg and plead.
"See the mirror in your eyes,
see the truth behind your lies,
your lies are haunting me.
See the reason in your eyes,
giving answer to the why,
your eyes are haunting me"
This is how you made me feel,
that's why we worked then.
We can still work.
Because everytime that you do call me,
I still hear how much you care for me in your voice.
You have anger,
you have jealousy,
and maybe you had too much of both.
But deep down inside,
I know that you can't forget me.
That is why you want to go cold turkey.
I don't understand why you can't be honest with me about it.
You know I'll help you.
You know that we'd be able to talk through this.
I guess I've learnt that,
and you haven't.
Maybe one day you will up and realise.
But it will be too late,
because I will no longer be waiting for you.
You are right,
if you didn't care,
you wouldn't bother to call me anymore.
You'd just switch numbers.
That is all I have hanging right now.
I won't push you anymore.
You take your time and think about it.
You take your time to realise that you miss me.
I just hope you won't be stupid enough to drown all that with other things.
Right now, I'm indifferent to your calls and messages.
Knowing that you still make an effort makes a difference.
It is not the substance of our calls anymore.
Come to your senses, boy.
I don't want to be a drama queen,
I just want you to see,
Everything I need.
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