I am Jane's One Day Affair in Malacca

Can you imagine? I went all the way to Malacca BY MYSELF! ME, MYSELF and I! Alone! All the way to Malacca! Not like it's some far away place, but still, the only inter-state traveling I've done alone is from KL back home and vice versa(hmm, come to think of it I haven't been home for quite some time, but I don't miss it. I don't know why..strange). Anyway!! Since SOMEBODY (new ardent fan and critic <--self-proclaimed) complained how wordy my blogs are (aren't blogs supposed to be about words? I never claimed to be picturesque, right?), I shall upload some pictures here (also so that Hemadaren Subramaniam won't need to bug me for them). See! Killing few birds with one stone. Genius, right?? Hehe..

Left for the dreadful Puduraya at 12pm, was tempted by Burger King on the way from Masjid Jamek (nah..I was just hungry), reached Puduraya about 1.30pm. Now, I'm one of those big-time Puduraya-haters, mind you, I totally and absolutely loathe Puduraya from the deepest depth of my heart. WHY?? I bet you'll hate it too if you were there. Plus, my being claustrophobic, paranoid, easily irritated, etc..etc, and need of PERSONAL SPACE makes it all the more worse. The place stinks, (used to be and still is quite) dark, stuffy, dirty, and congested through out the whole day. Heck, the only time I've seen it NOT congested was at 6am! Even then there were people sleeping on the benches, hawkers setting up stalls and an already-building-up jam starting. By 7am it was it's usual madness (I wonder if one day I'll get to see when the crowd starts subsiding, oh wait. I HAVE! 11.30pm, but I'll save that for another post). DON'T ask me what I was doing at Puduraya at 6am. I don't have time to study Puduraya, okay?

Back to the point, thus, I began my bus-search. You see, my dear Malaccan friend was (I asked him about this last year, I think) no help at all. When asked which bus is the most frequent to Malacca from KL, his answer was "Dunno, any guy who walks up to me offering to sell bus ticket I hentam only lah!". However, I did remember some MMU-an (is that what they're called?) say that KKKL is the best bus for KL-MELAKA-KL trips. So, in I went into that crazy place where people had no courtesy of queuing up and insisted on pushing each other in order to obtain tickets, in search of the KKKL counter. Turns out the supposedly frequent bus was not so frequent at all, next bus was at 4pm, which, in Puduraya-time, can be translated into 'at least 5pm'. So was Transnasional as well as Konsortiom. My next choice was StarMart and I was sooooo elated that they had a bus in 20 minutes time that I threw all caution to the wind (as usual) and of course, it didn't turn out as I expected. When I saw the ticket, it was written 'METROBUS'. )!*@&^T*@&^#*@&!*@&..ohmigosh I just wanted to curse right there and then. Asking for a refund would definitely be impossible so all I could do was PRAY that it was a decent bus.

The ticket was way more expensive than other counters, but the bus wasn't as spacious.
Interestingly, I found cockcroaches lurking under the seats and on the sides!! Meiyuin would have definitely screamed till the bus driver stopped the bus so she could run at least 1km away if she were with me. Turns out, the bus was own by the same company that operates shuttle busses around Klang Valley. YES! I mean those old, smelly Metrobusses you take from the LRT stations. No wonder the interior was so familiar.

After exactly two hours, I finally got to Malacca Central in ONE PIECE (bloody bus was so shaky, I thought it was going to fall into pieces anytime). And this culprit here...

our servant for the day...

decided to take a 'nap' which he couldn't wake up from even though people messaged, called, and nudged him on MSN a gazillion times. And he accused me of calling up the whole Malacca! HMMPH! I was lost. I needed DIRECTIONS!! Stupid hypocritical pig. After I finally found the exit to the domestic busses and almost got onto the wrong bus, then he decided to call me. And I only reached MMU an hour after that.

First person I met was.. Sopha! Her hair is still so bouncy and curly. Good to know that some people don't change even as the years go by. And so, we had to do the whole cam-whoring thing, since the last time I did it with her was in High School...private function

Finally met the sleeping pig (you see!!everything you do is what pigs do, can't help it if people mistake you for a pig!) and his much talked about friend Putra, who actually IS some sort of Putera, only much friendlier. And off we went to the well-known Jonker Street for some bargains (or so they seem).

Putra's feminine side.

But first! Did you think I'd come all the way to Malacca and go back without a taste of my favourite Ais Kacang? I think, if I'd ever want to be a food connoisseur, I'd specialize in deserts made out of shaved ice, specifically, Ais Kacang and also Laksa. I told Hem this a week before my visit "My love for Ais kacang and laksa exceeds way beyond any feelings of fondness I have for you, you baboon!". And so...

This is not your everyday Ais Kacang. It has Mango puree on it!! Two of my favourite things in one bowl! I can't ask for more..I deliberately took pictures so that I could show my beau who is, also, a mango-lover! I must say, although my taste buds do not agree with spicy food at all, they do create an exception for must-haves such as LAKSA. hahaha..I think I'm going crazy.

After the long-awaited, taste-bud-satisfying feast, our hunt through Jonker's began! First off, Sopha and I stopped at some accessory shop which sold stuff at RM10, the most. Through out the shop, and even on the street, there were necklaces, bracelets, rings, chokers, earrings and things-I've-never-seen-before-and-still-don't-know-what-they-are made from a wide range of material ranging from seashells, plastic, beads, glass, to metal. I got a pair of bracelets for me and beau, and a chunky bangle for myself which cost only RM3 compared to at least RM10 in KL! And then, I bought a pair of fancy looking rings of which HE broke within 24hours, I still don't know how. This is the second pair of rings which he has lost/broke! And then, some fancy looking pouch I got just because I liked the design, (hehe..I deserve a treat too!) Hem got me some earrings (which I still do not approve of the idea of him doing so). The list goes on, I'm too lazy to remember. What matters is, at the end of the day, I was HAPPY! Retail therapy always works. ALWAYS. I saw these Fedora hats selling for only RM10!!! Unfortunately, they didn't have the plain ones without the stripey material :( After which, was time for more photos!This time, involving a street lamp.

Hem likes it doggy style!

Amateur pole dancer/performer. Please give your support by donating. Every cent counts.

Tolong kami, bantu kami, Bersedekahlah sebelum anda disedekahkan!

After Jonker's, Hem decided to show me the ever-famous Pure Bar (<--whom I don't remember which idiot said was supposedly the best club in Malaysia). We took one hour to find it! I didn't know Malacca was so big, or maybe Putra was just going around in circles. Went back to Mabel's place, unfortunately, she was not properly dressed, so I couldn't take pictures with her. Any further details disclose might cause my head to fall off when she reads this. Saw Kak Nana early in the morning and she sent us to Malacca Central, and that concludes my trip to Malacca :D RANDOM STUFF:
1) Malaccans are SICK!! They shoot birds out of trees. Not to scare them, but literally shoot them dead! And then they pick the bird up by it's wings, not bothering to see if it's still alive or not, and dump them into the river where that famous big ship-museum is! How would they feel if they were in the middle of having sex with their wives and all of a sudden some gunman shoots them from a rooftop afar and then barge into their house, and drag their corpse and throw it into the monsoon drain? Even if the birds are pests they don't deserve to be treated like this!

2) I saw this Indian lady at Puduraya with a huge orange plastic bag on her head, just like how they do it in India! NO HANDS! Amazing...

3) I believe that nowadays, when you apply for the post of security guard, having photographic memory is a pre-requisite. I can imagine how some guy's (who's applying for a job at one of the condominiums) application form to be somewhat like this:
Name: Guudmemari a/l bolehingat <-----no racism intended here
Age : 43
:
:
:
:
Please state your work experience which you think may be relevant for us to take into account:

• Previously from MENSA
• Former Private Eye for rich Datins spying on their cheating Datos (good memory was necessary as I had to keep track of which girl he was sleeping with every day and report back to the Datins as well as describe their facial features)
• former discipline teacher at a high school where I got fired for bringing up all the students' mistakes everytime they were brought forth to me
• Had a part time job at a busy restaurant and had no trouble remembering orders even without a notepad and pen

Do you have photographic memory?

• Yes, I am able to identify faces quickly as well as match them to given names.

WHY?? Because the bloody guard found out I was entering illegally. I really don't get these people. Even here we have the same problem. Seriously, what is wrong with bringing home people when your parents are paying for your rent? I don't understand, they obviously have a gazillion reasons to justify it, but I have a gazillion and ONE reasons to oppose them as well. As it is, I ain't following the rules here anyway.


4) Putra, if you're reading this, you have officially made my list of top ten crazy drivers!

5) Been feeling really demotivated today (why is demotivated not in the dictionary?). And it's all ACCA's fault!

This is the length of the path you see when first enter:

|-------------------------------|

This is the length of the path when you first fail:
|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------........

As you can see, you really don't know where the line ends, although ACCA does give you a limit of only ten years. I don't want to spend that long here!!! OHMIGOSHH... I solemnly swear I will, from now on, take my work seriously.

p/s : I promised myself I wouldn't start off with a moody post so I channeled all my negative energy into positive ones. Now, if only I could channel all the wasted time into revision time...