Just a short one before I sleep, I have so many things to talk about, but no time at all! Results got out, you know what? Between fretting and tossing around in bed, between tuning in and out of class, between whether or not I should open the e-mail myself or someone else. It finally came. It came when I was in Marcus' class. My over kan-cheong mother opened the e-mail and sent me a message saying "congratulations, you passed all papers f9- 57, f5- 60, f6- 66." The words didn't sink in at first, because I was busy looking for the word "FAIL", just like how my dad sent my SPM results to me about three years ago. And the evil thing about THAT message was that the preview read, "Congratulations, you got all A's except...". What a great part of the sentence to stop at. For the last one and a half our, i kept opening my mum's message, reading it over and over again, thinking did I really pass? Is my mum playing a joke on me? Finally it sank in, and then I started thinking, this feeling is so not equal to the feeling I would have gotten if I did fail. So unfair. It should look like a U shaped graph, with the lowest point of the U on the (0,0) coordinate. But no! I feel only contented, not jumping with joy. I even tried tricking myself into it! It did kind of work for a while. But then I realised it wasn't really what I was feeling. Yes, I'm a gloomy person, all full of gloom and doom, hate me. I don't care. Oh well, passing the exams IS much more gratifying than being happy. And it certainly beats failing it and having to re-schedule everything. So, yes, I'm thankful that I passed. No, make that more than happy, but still not jumping with joy. But I'm still happy that I have the ability and am given the choice to be happy, although I don't have the urge to jump with joy. Something makes me want to force myself to jump for joy because I feel like I'm taking passing the exams for granted. I'm a confused girl. I know. Anyways, the results were actually better than what I expected. Now, I have an average of 60 plus, which means that I'm in the second upper class band. Don't really care. It's still a cert saying I completed something and that's enough for me. My other friends were less fortunate though, failing a paper each, nevertheless, we're still on almost the same length. These are friends I can actually count on surprisingly to me.
By the way, Chung Li Kuan came, only to find that Summit Climbing Gym has moved. So if anyone knows anymore easily accessible climbing gyms, do let me know. And because we couldn't climb the wall, we climbed stairs and shopped till we dropped, trying on Forever 21 like it was a fashion show. Can you believe I got Esprit for RM20?? Even I was surprised. At the end of the day, I literally dropped dead on the bed.
On another note, I hate people who KNOW or THINK they're clever, and must announce to the whole world. Not only that, I HATE people who roll their eyes when you talk to them POLITELY. And they're not even talking to close friends! People who sit beside you as if it's their right just because you're ACQUAINTED to them, people who go "Oh, I did so badly...bla bla bla...HAIZ... I'm such a BRILLIANT guy! Must be the examiner's fault." People who step on your toes and don't apologize. People who scold/ act as if they don't need it when you share exam tips with them. Seriously, I could have just been selfish and kept it to myself right? I just CASUALLY said "oh, you know this site has some tips from this and this publisher." The reply I got was NOT what I deserved. Even smart people get bad luck and even smart people need all the back up they need. Even more so in a course like this when we have examiners who can't make up their minds and are a bit cuckoo in the head. ARROGANT FOOL. I solemnly swear I shall be selfish to you and you alone...unless others want to be added on the list. Then so be it, I have nothing to gain from people like you! GOOD NIGHT! Thinking about it makes my blood boil. I haven't had enough sleep for three days. So I'm going to catch up on it tonight.
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