I am Jane the procrastinator

Some habits never die. Like how I like to procrastinate. It's almost dusk now. And I'm still awake. After my test which supposedly ended at 9.50pm (obviously I didn't really know what else to write so I left early), I stared at this flat thing beside my bed I call the laptop (I'm thinking of other names to call it since it obviously is EVIL) and have never left it's side (except for the one hour break to talk to my beau) ever since. I have to wake up at 10am tomorrow because I've promised my friends that we'd go to IKEA and pig out (oh, dear..there goes weeks of detoxification) as a form of relaxation since we were all killed by different lecturers. This test was particularly bad because I have been slacking. I need to start bucking up (Ohmigosh, I sound like Jo Ann, no offence).

So, from now onwards, I shall not skip Ms Pushpa's class (or whatever remainder there is *two weeks, Jane, just two more weeks**and then the dreadful mock exams!!!), I shall continue detoxing (after I satisfy myself tomorrow), and I shall start reading over my notes, no matter how much I hate Marcus.

About detoxing, I don't have any medical opinion on it, but from my experience (or rather the lack of it), it really is something good. I have no idea what has gotten into me, but I've become a little bit health conscious nowadays. Just a little bit. Those days, I just threw caution to the wind, ate when I felt like eating, starve when I felt like starving, and consume whatever I that caught my eyes.

This whole detox thing started way before I knew I was doing it. Last semester, while I was on my vege-only diet, for reasons not to be disclosed, I started purging like mad. Although strangely, it made me very thirsty, and I had this habit of drinking Loong Cheng tea because it was the only thing that could wash away the after taste of Coffee in my mouth. Of course, I did lose a bit of weight (all of which was gained back right after), but I felt much more refreshed. I slept less, I craved less and I was alert (according to Peter, I have a very short attention span, although I don't deny).

About a week ago, I decided to give this detoxification thing a try, since I remembered Min Huey from my HMC days only drinking organic apple juice with that powdery substance that I used to play/ help him put into his juice. I will not tell you the outcome because it is DISGUSTING. And Min Huey is a person who can describe events VERY PARTICULARLY. So, I shall be the saint here and save you of that distress.

And of course, to make use of the internet, I went to google the topic. What I got was gazillions of pharmaceutical companies promoting their detoxification teas. I also read a comment from one of the users that consumers should be very careful to check for laxatives which give the supposed 'detoxing through purging' effect. I kept reading and found out that it was exactly what I felt when I was on the vege-only diet. And so, I have decided that it should be a monthly thing just to clear my system of all the toxic MSG, carbonated oil and what nots.

Having a blender is very helpful too, except for the fact that I like to blend everything with ice-cream (any alternatives?). I blended watermelon with vanilla ice-cream, I blended honey dew with vanilla ice-cream, I blended coffee and chocolate ice-cream, I blended chocolate with vanilla ice-cream and oats. I blend everything nowadays! I must say I'm having fun. So if you have any suggestions of what I can blend together (please make it edible), I'm open to ideas.

On another note, I was so bored, I was going through my friends from HMC 's blogs. Among which was Adelias. And I came upon this picture:


And then, being the narcissistic me, I stared and stared and wished that I could have the body I had back then. I was neither too skinny or too fat. Although I had no muscles what so ever, and I was jelly-ish, I could fit into ANYTHING!! And I mean anything. Trust me, I pushed my limit, I had none.

I know, No-Action-Talk-Only will take me no where, and so, I shall give up one meal a day. So, please don't tempt me with food. I already have a hard time controlling myself. I love food, but I want my body back as well. I don't want this sad excuse of a body of which I have to cover up everyday. It sucks to be able to see nice clothes but not being able to buy them and wear them. And so, if you ask me to choose between food and clothes, I think I'd choose clothes. I think that's like the most bimbotic statement I've ever made, but tell me which girl isn't vain and I'll show you a frog under a coconut shell. You know how they say that pretty girls always get treated better than the not-so? Deny all you want, fight all you want, but in reality, it does happen. Don't blame the parents, blame society and those who impose this stupid sense of aesthetic need in us. I, for one, don't wish to abuse myself, but I don't really fancy people taking me lightly or just passing me off as well. Stupid I know, but it's a cold hard fact. How stupid it is that I must let people notice me before they take me seriously? You may have a different experience, but that's you altogether. This has been my experience, and this is my conclusion. After all, they don't ask you to submit photos with your resume for nothing you know.

On a lighter side, here are other old photos. I'm still staring and wishing hard!!

Stick thin then, Guat Lee, I know you might never read this, but I miss you a lot

Somebody thought it'd be cool to take a picture of Sharon and I looking like Chinese-national girls-who-can't-find-better-job-than-you-know-what

I just like this picture because of how Boon Woei hated the whole idea. This was taken the night they all came over.

All the girls from our first group in HMC.

Also, Meiyuin and I have been busy uploading photos on the Convent group we made in Facebook. Facebook is EVIL!!! Yawn...I'm sleepy. I'm going to sleep until Angeline wakes me up..Hehe..And then I'm going to get a scolding from her.

Last but not least, I've come to this point of my life when I feel like making amends with everyone. But I'm still stubborn enough to let that part of me control my ego. It all started with Guat Lee, and now it is spreading. However, although I feel that way, part of me also tells me that there are certain friends of whom I shouldn't even bother obliging. No, I'm not saying that I want to break off with my friends whom I find no use of, I'm just saying that I feel like there is no point in keeping in touch or rather TRYING to do so with people who can't be bothered/ treat me like crap/ only come to me when they need my help/ don't trust me/ pretend to like me. I'm not being selfish, am I? I'm just being rationale. Why do I have to oblige to people I don't like? Time and time again I'm reminded that if I help others, they won't only NOT appreciate it, but they'd kick me in the face as well. So, honestly, is it worthwhile to put myself into trouble for such people? You may argue that is what friends are for. But let me tell you that friends will also not let you go through trouble unless they really need to, and even so, they'd always be thankful, never taking you for granted. If I can break free from this, I'm a step closer to breaking free from my mother's reign of terror. I'm just so negative, ain't I?